What One Does When Alone On Their Day Off.

I just noticed the word alone contains the word one in it.  So is there a connection?

 I was able to recently display a model train collection at our local library.  When I took the display down I decided to store it in a closet in a room that used to be occupied by my wife.  I was going through papers and found a stack of unclaimed life insurance policies from my brothers and sister who left them behind back in the 70s.  They could be cashed in for $500.00 when we were 21 or kept and allowed to increase in value over time.  My father and then my mother were the beneficiaries to these policies.  They had completely forgotten them.  One was made out to my brother Steve who died at the Pentagon on the 11th of September, 2001.  Upon calling the insurance company I learned the policy was still active and had grown in value to over $1100.00 which surprised me.  All we had to do was produce proof of Steve's passing.  I called his widow and she told me in her distress she had destroyed a lot of his papers including the death certificate.  I was stunned.  I contacted the Military Records Center in St. Louis, MO.  They have since sent Steve's entire service record which is a tribute to someone who actually made a difference.  Steve was a Captain when he passed on.  He had served in Grenada, Iraq #1 and Bosnia.  He had served in a multitude of positions, many of which he improved dramatically upon his arrival at these commands.  I worked as a personnel clerk in the Navy during the Reagan years.  I have seen a lot of service records and this one was by far the finest.  I am proud to have known my brother and feel he really did do something important for our country.  He is long gone but will never be forgotten.  I made copies of his service record and gave them to Mother, Father and son.  I retain one for my records.  Reading it was like traveling back in time.  I had no idea the amount of work he was assigned to complete.  While I worked hard myself in the U.S. Naval service, Steve actually contributed to our military preparedness significantly.  His loss was our nations loss for a fine officer and humanitarian like him is seldom known.  I thank him here for his service and ultimate sacrifice to our nation.  He was a good man and seldom does one have the privilege of knowing someone so dedicated to our national defense.  I don't often gush patriotic diatribe but Steve was one for the record books who really did care about what he was doing.  His death was a terrible blow not only to my family but to our country as well.  May your rest in peace dear brother.  Thank you and know your always in our hearts.  I do miss you so.  Goodnight.

The 4th Month at The House Of Blue and its hauntings

    I continue living alone in a house that once held two separate families that I knew intimately.  I feel at times overwhelmed and at other times content with my accomplishments.  It is something to live in a place with those who are your loved ones and friends and then something entirely different when you view their things they left behind causing one to wonder who those people were.  I guess I am like a museum keeper and this place is the crypt of memory.  I am its keeper.  It keeps me and I keep busy day in and day out with task unending. 

    My oldest friend, Jacob, my dog of over 12 years passed away a few days after Thanksgiving.  I will report that the year 2011 was by far the darkest time of my life.  I lost 3 cats to coyotes, my dog and my wife left me.  I think the icing on the cake was hearing my mother had cancer of the liver and it was not curable.  It can be slowed down but it will not be defeated entirely.  So she is receiving radiation treatments and will soon begin Kemo (spelling). These are her 2nd round of treatments  My mother has been a good friend to me these days since loosing my wife.  I have been talking with her every morning now for the duration of time.  I had begun slacking up a little on our talking but have decided she needs my support now so I will continue calling  to keep her company.  Talking can relieve a lot of stress in ones life. 

     One thing I have learned since loosing my wife.  The more I look around and attempt to find companionship with others the more I miss her.  Lorie is her name.  I have known her since 1979.  I liked her because she was not glued to her cell phone every minute of the day.  She did not text and she did not create constant drama in her life.  She was quiet and peaceful to be around.  We seldom fought which is perhaps why we ultimately fell apart.  I just did not like fighting and would avoid confrontation.  I guess one could say I ignored the rot beneath the floorboards and so to find more than rot but complete emotional and mental break down on her part.  I feel guilty for being oblivious to her problems.  I feel she was in the midst of a crisis and I chose to ignore what was happening to her mind.  In retrospect, I have learned not to avoid the rot that can fester in a relationship.  Never assume your business is running smoothly.  It is easy to fall into traps and blind avenues of perception that lead to heartbreak.  I thought I had the world in the palm of my hand and found that the world could care less about me.  I guess I am lucky my phone is not blowing up night and day with whoever or whatever entity exist out there.  I guess I can say I live in utter peace and solitude now.  I have reverted to my way of life when Mother, Father and brothers and sisters all fled this home to set up new ones elsewhere.  I have seen two families come and go here.  I find this place haunting.  I could have sworn the other night as I pulled up in my car that there was a shadow of a person in the window to this room I currently occupy.  I saw it move back and forth behind the curtain.  I had a small lamp lit in the room and so this permitted the shadow to be quite visible.  Needless to say, my skin crawled with goose bumps and I felt dread to enter this house.  But I am a ghost and so I get along with what ever lurks here.  I have seen the ghost of a woman one night in the living room.  I saw her fade away into the distance as I awoke and watched this phenomena occur.  Even now as I type this a battle is taking place beyond my window as several racoon's fight over their food I have left out for them.  Their snarl is unmistakable.  I have been putting food out for them for over 10 years now.  Don't ask me why, I just do it.

    With this I depart.  I will ask that if there is anyone out there that wants to correspond with me via snail mail your welcome to give me a call.  I will also correspond using electronic methods such as e-mails but not texting.  Not my bag man.  Goodnight and have a pleasant tomorrow.